From Guardian to Guide
Some Wisdom from Kahlil Gibran on the Parental Journey Toward Letting Go
This was the year I thought I would have a very spacious nest. My oldest child had already moved out for university. My daughter graduated from high school and had an apartment lined up for her boyfriend and herself. My husband and I thought it would just be us and our sixteen-year-old. But pandemics have a way of changing plans, and we now have three legal adults living at home in addition to the three of us. I am fine with the situation. We are trying to give everyone a sound start before they go off on their own. The boyfriend’s mother is not fine with this situation.
We had discussions that started with plans for a “mother to mother” talk over tea. I wanted to listen with compassion, to not take accusations personally, to recognize this young man’s mother was speaking from a place of pain. I have not yet been able to listen with the patience needed for this talk over tea to happen. I am working on it. Each of our short discussions has ended in frustration as she pleads for me to kick him out in hopes he will “go home to his own mother where he belongs”. I tell her that it’s understandable that she wants her son home with her a little longer, but that as a legal adult it is his choice to stay or go — and that it’s up to my husband and I whether we wish to…
